under the weather

what do you find? how little it takes to survive...and to die. that life is worth living even when you must keep a tissue up your nose. solitude and space. i'm glad i'm not a giraffe. what if it got a sore throat? to quote Mitch Hedberg, "goddammit anyway!"

how much happiness it is to see white muccus rather than yellow...or green. to have an appetite once again. where did it go and what did it see? i tried to read. it didn't work. so I slumped in front of the t.v. and caught up on what the world is watching. why are we watching? i need to get cable. how awesome would getting sick be then?

i remember being young and faking sick to stay home and play Sega (not nintendo, I had a Sega...and Atari!). maybe I was afraid of something at school. learning? peers? unfinished homework? who knows? who cares? it is passed and I have not. sick is gone, almost gone, came back for a bit, then left again. I should be 100% tomorrow. what is 100%?

i'm still at work. not today, but when sick. dedication? delirium? who knows? who cares? nothing to fear there, but fear itself is everywhere...right? no, it is no where. doesn't exist. flew out the window in a doctor's office when I was 8. when I wet the bed. when I wished I were dead. what a stupid thought. i try to speak out loud more often. play with my tongue at will. she will. one day.

i'll skip the moral. none I can find so don't you be the wiser.

peace. i must wretch now.

jaw